Understanding The Adoption Triad

Adoption is more than the legal joining of a minor child and anadoptive parent. Adoption is the creation of a family. As openadoptions become more commonplace in both domestic and internationaladoption situations, the definition of "family" has expanded, toinclude all three sides of the adoption triad. But what is the adoptiontriad and why should all three sides of the triad be respected?

Adoption triad is the term used to represent the three partiesrepresented in an adoption: the child, the adoptive parents, and thebirthmother.

Adopted Child

The adopted child gains a new family when the legal process ofadoption is completed. However, the child also loses the legal link tohis or her birthfamily - not just birthparents, but also grandparents,possible siblings, cousins, etc. Adoption is a joining of families, but also a separation of families and it's important that adoptive parents do not discount this loss.

Adoptive Parents

Adoptive parents have typically made the most positive choices in anadoption situation. They have chosen to adopt a child. They have chosenwhether to a pursue domestic, international, or foster care adoption.They have chosen the agency they wished to work with. They often havethe option of choosing the sex or age range of their adopted child.Losses or hardships experienced by the adoptive family are typicallyexperienced prior to the beginning of the adoption process.

Birthmother

The birthmother (or first mother, depending on the language chosen)is the most overlooked part of the adoption triad. The birthparentshave chosen to relinquish their child, rather than raise the child.There are a number of factors that could cause this decision, and it isnot a decision made lightly or rashly. The birthmother in an openadoption situation is able to choose the family she believes isbest-suited to raise her child. This is often the only control thebirthmother has in the situation once the adoption choice has beenmade, and her choices should be respected.

Why is the Adoption Triad Important?

Recognizing the three sides of the adoption triad is important inboth open and closed adoption situations. In open adoptions, thebirthmother (and in some cases, birthfather and birthgrandparents)remain a part of the adopted child's life. In a closed adoption, wherean adopted child's link to his or her birthfamily is already tenuous,acknowledging the third part of the adoption triad is a way of lettingthe adopted child know that his history is important, and that theadoptive family values the choices made by the birthmother.