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Published Monday August 31st, 2009 at 5:02am

Original Article by Kimmie Hutchins

I try not to post blogs that are super personal. I mean, I talk about daily activities, things that interest me and things like that -- but I try not to dig too deep into my personal life. This specific entry will be a little more personal though...

I saw this video earlier on cnn which I haven't been able to stop thinking about. I tried to figure out a way to put the video on here, but wordpress is a little stubborn and I can't seem to embed a video unless it's coming from youtube or google or whatever. You can see the video here.

Most likely I've mentioned somewhere in this blog that I'm adopted and that's the reason why this really caught my eye. The girl in this video is adopted and was reunited with her biological family after ‘googling' her own name and finding her information on an adoption registry. It's hard for me to describe my feelings on this. They are mix of interest, hope and hopelessness, envy, bitterness and frustration. This is actually the second story like this that I've seen just today, which makes it even more frustrating.

Though I haven't always made it apparent around people I know, I've always internalized some really strong feelings about adoption and myself being an adoptee. There have been a lot of circumstances concerning my adoption that I haven't had any control over, there's always been a disconnect with my adoptive family (which isn't their fault), and I've always felt like crucial and basic information that should be available has always been out of reach.

Seeing these kind of stories stirs up all these emotions that sometimes I wish they wouldn't. I wonder, "why can't it be that easy for me?" Well, I know the answers to that already (and there are a number of reasons).

Anyway -- I'm not saying that I don't feel good about the girl in the video. She has every right to find out this information, as does anyone that's adopted. I posted this link somewhere else and an acquaintance who is also adopted saw it, took it upon herself to do the same thing, and surprisingly discovered a whole bevy of information on her biological mother including a profile on facebook, myspace, and (all within 5-10 minutes). It's strange to think that a long lost parent, sibling or any family member may only be a facebook page away. But where do I start?

These options aren't as easily open to me because of the nature of my adoption. This acquaintance seems stressed though about what she should do with this information -- that she might be intruding on someone's privacy. But I know what I would do (and this is what I told her and what I would tell any adoptee). If I had this history, this part of me that was readily available, I would take it and go as far as I could with it. I understand wanting to respect someone's privacy, but that person made the decision for themselves and you, which isn't fair. Adoptees have every right to know who they are and parents who choose to give up their children need to face the fact that their anonymity might be forfeited sometime in the future. They may feel the regret, the loss and the sadness of giving away a child, but they don't know the feeling of having a whole part of your life kept from you, feelings of abandonment, and in many cases of overseas adoption (this applies to me) the anxiety of never feeling like you ‘fit in' to any specific group.

Ok... That's all I have to say about that. I know there are other adoptees who feel similar to myself. Surprisingly, I use to think it was just me, but I've discovered that I'm not alone. I'm up for a good conversation on this too. If you have anything to add, please feel free. I'm sure this won't be the last time I bring this up.