Share on Facebook | More ArticlesOriginal Article by Kerstin Lochrie
Published Sunday July 12th, 2009 at 3:53pm
An article in 'Jewish World' talks about a Jewish man and woman who approached their rabbi in the hopes of being married. The couple produced documents requested by the rabbi. He requested more documentation, which they produced. Then a day before the wedding, the rabbi refused to marry the couple. He stated that the man is adopted, and therefore his Jewishness cannot be verified.
This story is just wrong on so many levels. The story takes place overseas, so maybe the laws are different. But here in Boston, the law clearly states that adopted children have the same rights as biologic children. Whether he's adopted or not, he has his parent's claim in this world, even their Jewishness.
Many adopted children want to know their birthparents, claiming that they want to know where they're from. They want to know why their birthmother gave them up. They want to know if they look like their birthparents.
Many birthparents are, understandably, upset when they learn of their child's request. They argue that they are the real parents. After all, aren't the 'real' parents the ones who went to soccer games? And stayed up all night walking a baby with croup? Aren't they the ones who dried their child's tears when he scraped his knee and gave the bride away at the wedding?
To say that the man's Jewishness cannot be verified because he is adopted is tantamount to saying that he is not a real person. He parents are Jewish and so he is Jewish.
But it is the second part of the story that is equally inflaming. The man, upon hearing that his adoption had been verified by the marriage registry department, claimed quite forcefully that he was not adopted. Taken at face value, it is a simple statement. The problem, however, is that there are millions of adopted people in this world. What is wrong with being adopted? Is it a sin? Does it make someone less of a person?
This story is just wrong on so many levels. It smacks of bias and racism. As the mother of both adopted and biologic children, I frequently forget which are biologic and which are adopted. Can't we just marry the couple and get on with it?
This story is just wrong on so many levels. The story takes place overseas, so maybe the laws are different. But here in Boston, the law clearly states that adopted children have the same rights as biologic children. Whether he's adopted or not, he has his parent's claim in this world, even their Jewishness.
Many adopted children want to know their birthparents, claiming that they want to know where they're from. They want to know why their birthmother gave them up. They want to know if they look like their birthparents.
Many birthparents are, understandably, upset when they learn of their child's request. They argue that they are the real parents. After all, aren't the 'real' parents the ones who went to soccer games? And stayed up all night walking a baby with croup? Aren't they the ones who dried their child's tears when he scraped his knee and gave the bride away at the wedding?
To say that the man's Jewishness cannot be verified because he is adopted is tantamount to saying that he is not a real person. He parents are Jewish and so he is Jewish.
But it is the second part of the story that is equally inflaming. The man, upon hearing that his adoption had been verified by the marriage registry department, claimed quite forcefully that he was not adopted. Taken at face value, it is a simple statement. The problem, however, is that there are millions of adopted people in this world. What is wrong with being adopted? Is it a sin? Does it make someone less of a person?
This story is just wrong on so many levels. It smacks of bias and racism. As the mother of both adopted and biologic children, I frequently forget which are biologic and which are adopted. Can't we just marry the couple and get on with it?