Published Friday July 24th, 2009 at 4:14pm
Adoptee Matthew Farmer
Matthew Farmer, who is living outside of Boston, is an adoptee. What follows is a conversation with him about his adoptive status and adoption in general. The Examiner's (E) questions are followed by Matt's (M) answers.
E: How old are you?
M: I'm 19
E: Do you have any siblings?
M: No, I'm an only child.
E: When were you adopted?
M: In August of 1990, when I was about 6 weeks old.
E: Was it a foreign or domestic adoption?
M: Mine was a domestic adoption, and one of the few closed adoptions at the time.
E: How old were you when you found out you were adopted?
M: I was four when I found out. But I didn't really understand what it meant until I was about eight.
E: Did it come as a shock?
M: No, it wasn't a shock. I was never unhappy with my parents.
E: Who do you take after?
M: I hear that I look like my birthmother. I have her eyes and hair. I'm also nearsighted like she is.
E: Did you ever want to know your birthparents?
M: Yes, I wanted to know them. Well, I wanted to know my mother. I don't have a need to meet my birthfather because he didn't care. But my birthmother must have really cared about me, because she gave me up for adoption to make sure that I had a good life. My birthmom gave me the best possible chance. I have a feeling that she really loved me, and that's all I really need.
E: How did your real parents feel about this?
M: My adoptive parents raised me as their child. They supported me all my life. I'm blessed and lucky.
E: How did your extended family treat you?
M: I am the favorite of my grandparents. I really tried to be kind and helpful to everyone, and it showed. I am treated very well on both sides of the family.
E: Was there ever a time when your adoptive status was an issue?
M: The only thing that I would ever like to know is if there are any medical issues that I should be aware of. Other than that, it's never been an issue.
E: As an adoptee, is there anything you'd like people to know?
M: It's a great thing: adoption is a fantastic opportunity. You are giving that child a chance at life. I'm happy that I got that chance. Adoption should never be a hindrance. You should support the adoptee's right to know, but you are their parent. Let them become your child. You should provide opportunity, chance and love to a child. A kid cannot grow without the love of the family.
For more on Matt, visit his facebook profile here.