Texas Adoption Record #108126

Texas Adoption Record: # 108126

Other Birth Family looking for Adoptee
Anita Holland

Adoptee's Info
Birth Name: James Sydney Kisner/Allen
Adoptive Name:
Date of Birth: Jan 24, 1979 (now 45 years old)
Gender: Male
Birth Location: Arlington city, Tarrant county, Texas USA

Birthmother's Info
Name: Sharon Kay Kisner (Crum)
Born: Sep 19, 1954 (now 69 years old)
Age at Adoptee's Birth: Unknown
Religion: Unknown

Birthfather's Info
Name: Sam Allen
Born: Unknown
Age at Adoptee's Birth: Unknown
Religion: Unknown

Born at Hospital: John Peter Smith
Birth Certificate:
Adoption Agency: Cps

Additional Info
I was only 7 so I added as much info as I can remember. His birth year could be anywhere from1976 / 1980. I’m looking for my nephew. I have been ever since I can remember. He was left with my mom ( his maternal grandmother) for an extensive period of time. His mother is my oldest sibling and I am the youngest. Between us there were four other siblings. My sister ( birth mother) was the eldest I am the youngest. \nMy mother was already raising my sisters first little girl Brandy. My sister gave them the rights to her so she was being raised as my sister. A little over a year later my sister got pregnant by another man. His name was Sam Allen. He monster me as a child and was an alcoholic. He never held a steady job and didn’t support my sister well at all. She gave birth to my nephew james and soon after was leaving him for days at a time with my mother while her and Sam partied all the time. I remember at the age of 7 leaving late at night with my moon and the baby in his car seat , going to every bar in Arlington and sitting out in the car while my mom went in looking for my sister. This went on all the time. One time she left him and it was a long time that we had heard from her and my mom was upset and exhausted. She called every where looking for my sister, she went by thier apartment. Everything she knew to do but no luck finding her. So my mom took a hand written letter and taped it to my sisters apartment door and she wrote that she needed to come get james and take care of him. She told her that she already had 4 of her own kids at home reading them plus the older sibling of james that my sister left also. She told her that she was giving her one week to come get him or my mom was calling CPS. She sealed the envelope and taped it to her door. The next day my mom went by there and no one answered but someone had gotten the note. I was young I didn’t know about the note till my mother told me as an adult. I had no idea that my mother was contacting CPS and from my understanding cps attempted to get in contact with my sister at her apartment. Cps informed my mother that a young woman answered the door and the cps lady asked to speak to Sharon and the young lady stated that she didn’t know any Sharon. But the description the case worker gave my mother was an exact match to my sister. I was not aware of this as a child but my mother told me when I was grown. The day that the case worker came to pick james up I was the only kid home. I answered the door with him on my hip. There stood a lady with a red 2 piece business suit. Even though I was only 7 I knew something was not right. As I stand there the case worker says is this handsome young man james. I immiediatly hear my mother coming up the hall to speak with the lady. I take james to his pallet and my mother and the case worker go to the formal living room to speak. I tip toed down the hall and listen and I heard her all had he eaten and did we hear from his mom. I was so upset I thought that if I went and distracted them they would stop talking. So I went into the kitchen abs started unloading the dishwasher and slamming the dishes as I put them in the cabinet. I had never unloaded a dishwasher in my life. Obviously they caught on that i knew what was going on. The case worker got up from the living room to where I was at the dishwasher and said “ how do you feel about this Anita?” And I screamed “shut up” and started crying and ran in the den and grabbed james and ran into my room and sat in front of the door crying. The song like a rose was playing and to this day I still can’t hear that song. As I sat there crying, holding my 10 month old nephew I remember he was looking at me so confused. He has no clue what was about to happen to him and I didn’t know either but I felt it wasn’t good. My mom told me to open the door and I was crying and asked her if I was in trouble for telling that lady to shut Up. I had never yelled at a grown up like that. Her and my mom talked through the door reassuring me that I was not in trouble. The case worker said she wanted to talk to me and tell me some things that might make me feel better. So I opened the door. When I came out she got down to eye level and very kindly explained to me that my moon was worn out and that she needed a break and that she was just gonna take james just to help my mom out and that his mom would come get him and I would see him in just a few days. My mom stood behind her reassuring me also. I was scared. I was little. I really didn’t have a choice. I stood there with my nephew as the case worker went out to get the car seat and bottle. She let me walk out to the car and I handed her my nephew and she put him in the car seat and she left. My sister was served papers and had a chance to complete the cps thing and she never went. On the day of court my duties never showed up and the state of Texas took full custody of him and I have never seen him since. I held on to the woods that social worker said. I wish she had not ever told me not to worry that I would see him in just a few days. I held on to those words. And I never saw him again! At the time of all this I was 7 and I’m 50 now. I have looked on my own for my nephew since I got old enough to learn I could search For him! I’ve never gotten help I just went from one website to another! I’m going to assume that this was a sealed adoption and until now, it’s been pretty hard since I’m not the mother or sibling of james. I was just his aunt. For what ever reason I need to heal the wounds of a7 year old little girl that has a piece of her taken away. I don’t know what kinda life he has I hope it was great. I’m not meaning to cause any problem and if he never wants to see me again I completely respect that. I’m not looking for him to try and disrupt his life. I have my own reasons. I have to head a very deep wound that I got when he was taken away. I want him to know that there was not a day that went by that I didn’t think about him. So if he ever wondered if anyone really cared about him, that I thought of him every day even still today. I was hurt by all of this. I didn’t understand and I felt like a piece of me was taken that day and I never got it back. I was only little but it affected me too my core. I never really talked to much about it because it was just not a welcomed subject. So I learned to stuff it down to a deep place that I tried to forget. If I could just tell him that I gave thought about him every day since I handed him to that lady I think I would be able to accept closure and the little girl in me could start to heal. I will not try to comment james with his birth mother because I’m looking for him for my own reasons. If she wants to find him she can look like I did. If he wants me to contact her I will gladly. But I’m looking for my own reasons because he has never left my heart and I think of him every single day since I was 7. I’ve not told my story in this much detail ever as I have now. And I’m sitting here late at night with tears running down my face! I’ve never shared with anyone what this entire thing has done to me. No one knows that I even search relentlessly for him not even his mother. My sibling still never knew what went in that day. And I’ve never told anyone as much as I’ve written here. Every thing I wrote I believe is as close to the turf as I can remember as a 7 year old little girl. I’m going to ask Brandy sone specific details she might know that I might be wrong on and I’ll update those as soon as I find out. I just want him to know that my life changed that day as I’m sure his did also. I pray he has had a very positive like and I hope his adoptive family gave him all the love in the world. I’m not here to try and break up a family I just have something I need to tell him from a seven year old little girl. I hope I didn’t just waste my time writing this letter. It was way harder than you would ever know.


Registered: June 19, 2022